A real woman wouldn't even consider adoption....

I was at Target yesterday and over heard a woman on her phone say this.  Granted I didn't hear the whole conversation but I don't think I want to.  I have never actually considered ripping a phone out of someone's hand followed by punching them in the face until that moment.  It took ever bit of control to just keep walking after, of course, I wiped my head around and glared at her.  It drives me crazy when people walk around the store talking loudly on their phone.  It drives me insane when they do this and say comments like this.  I've never over heard something that has offended me more than that  which of course is the cause of this post.  To start for those of you reading this that might not know me too well we need a little background.  So here it is.....

When I was 21 I had a beautiful little girl that I gave up for adoption.  I made this choice and to this day have no regrets about it.  I was 21, in school, and really still a kid myself.  There was no way I was ready to raise a child.  I wouldn't have been a good mom then and that might have been the only mature thing I did at that age.  I made the decision that was best for her.  Could I have managed and raised her?  Of course.  I would have dropped out of school, moved home to my parents house and managed.  But I didn't feel like that was fair for her.  She deserved a good life and really a stable mother, which I was not at 21.  I won't go into everything that happened. The short version....

At the end of May 1999 she was born.  I spent three days with her before saying goodbye.  I have thousands of pictures of those three days, a baby book full of every memory I had, and a journal of everything that happened during that time.  I have a birth certificate with the name I spent months deciding on.  Grace Alexandria. On day three of her life I have pictures of me saying goodbye to her.  If you look at those pictures you will see just how hard that day was. 

But I wasn't the only woman in this story that decided on adoption.  On the hardest day of my life another woman was having one of the best days of hers.  That woman had already said goodbye to a baby but under completely different circumstances and a much harder situation.  Her son had past away only weeks after he was born.  The doctors told her she ran a 95% chance of another baby having the same problems he was born with if they tried again.  She couldn't do that to herself, a baby or her husband so they made the difficult decision to stop trying.  They were not going to have a biological baby but it didn't mean they couldn't have a baby.  They began the adoption process similar the the adoption process I began when I found out I was pregnant.  I strongly believe in fate and I believe fate is what brought me and this woman together.  Her sister was my nurse at the doctor's office.  She cried when my response to the after birth care for the baby was "adoption."  I thought she was judging me until she pulled out the "life book" of her sister.  A life book is created by parents who are looking to adopt so that the woman of the child can see their family life and get to know them a little bit before meeting them in an open adoption process. The crazy thing about this was that they were going through the same adoption agency I was.  Fate.

It was like someone was telling me I was making the right decision.  I met them a few times before Grace was born.  And at the hospital I left them to care, love and provide for her.  I trusted them and to this day know that they are giving her the best life possible.

So to hear this woman on the phone say a real woman wouldn't even consider adoption I just wanted to scream.  A real woman, who isn't ready to be a mom, will always consider adoption.  A real woman who, for whatever reason, can't have a biological child will always consider adoption.  These two situations don't make you less of a real woman.  In fact they build character in you and make you stronger as an individual. 

It was the hardest day of my life and anyone that would ever say a "real woman" wouldn't make that decision has never been put in that situation.  Has never given up a piece of themselves because they knew it was the best decision for everyone.  A real woman will make the decisions that are best for those involved and not a selfish decision because they are worried about what society will think if they found out they had given up their baby or that their daughter is not their biological child.  I have no regrets and since the day she was born it has never been a secret.  She has a wonderful life.  She looks just like me.  I get letters each year on her birthday and she is very blessed with wonderful parents and a real woman as her mother to provide guidance every step of the way.  A real woman will make decisions that are best for her family.

A St Patrick's Day to remember

So to start the weekend Tucker went to his first sleepover (that wasn't his grandparents) with our friend Renee.  I was a little worried he'd decide to keep her up all night or just be a little pain and she'd never want to do a sleepover again.  :)  Instead...he was a sweet angel.  We fed and bathed him before taking him over.  And that didn't stop him from snacking when he was there.  That boy can eat!  If I only had his metabolism!

Having fun mom....don't worry :)

When we got home from dropping him off we got things ready and went to bed.  4 am comes early!  Race morning we headed to the metro and rode in with lots of other runners.  The race started and ended at the Armory which is nice because it was open and a great place to stretch out of the chilly morning air.

Inside the Armory before the race

This is the first race Brian and I had decided to run together.  Normally, we do our own thing and just meet at the finish line but we've both been sick and hadn't been training much so we figured we'd just have fun and enjoy the race together. 

Waiting for the start

The fun part was running through the streets of my old neighbor.  Brian got to hear all the old stories of places I'd go and things I'd do.  I'm sure he loved it.  :)  It was fun though.  Some good memories of a city I do love and streets I use to train on every day.

The Capital

Smile Brian!  We're having fun!

They even turn the fountain green for
St. Patrick's Day at the White House

And while running we even came upon the DC Juggling Man!!  He is at every DC race I have ever been in.  It was great to see him.  He juggles the entire way.  It's crazy!

DC Juggling Man!

 We ran most of the race.  Walked the hills because I'm out of shape but still did about as well as I did in Savannah so the good news is I'm getting back in shape.  And we were all smiles at the end.  Although, I'm not sure I can talk Brian into running a long race with me again.  My pace is a little painful for the giant :)

When we picked up our bag from the gear check we had these pictures waiting for us.  :)

It was good to see that he'd played himself into exhaustion.  :)  We fought with the crowds on the metro and headed to pick up the little man.  On the way home we decided to stop at our favorite neighborhood pub that is just down the street from the house.  Lunch and a Guinness (for Brian) and Kilkenny (for me) to celebrate with our favorite little Lucky Charm. :)

It was a great race and a perfect way to get some views of the city, old neighborhood, and town.  It was fun to run the entire race with Brian also.  We're a good mix.  ;)

As May gets closer I get more excited about moving but then again a little sad about what we are leaving here.  This place has been great to me and this city will always be special to me.

New Orleans adventure...

We had a great time in New Orleans.  Brian has many friends who are very much like family in the area and we were able to spend time with some of them.  We stayed in Slidell through Friday and then headed to the city on Friday for the weekend. Thanks to Cindy and Ken for putting us up at their beautiful home for those nights!!  We are looking forward to bringing Tucker back this summer! :)

Wednesday night at Cindy and Ken's

Friday night was the "going out" night.  Roy and Tina had come down from St. Louis and other friends from Slidell came into town for the night.  After Wednesday night's adventures of too much wine, cider and beer, I learned that I am old so Friday night I knew to limit myself to only a few drinks if I wanted to do anything on Saturday!  We started the night at Roy and Tina's hotel room where they all did shots.  Again....old so I don't do shots ;)

Then out to bar hop with the rest of the crazy people in New Orleans starting at Pat O'Brien's and moving on to more places than I remember.  The people watching in this town is incredible!! We ended the night grabbing some food before heading back to our hotel.  It was 3 am before we got there.  I can't remember the last time I was out that late!!  Haha...even writing that makes me feel old but it was a really fun night.

Piano Bar and Hurricanes

Roy and Tina

Some of the gang...it was hard (impossible) to get everyone looking at the same time!!

On Bourbon Street

Late night snacks

On Saturday morning we got up and headed to the race expo....this is about the time that I was so thankful for limiting myself on drinks the night before!  Some of you may remember from my facebook post that I talked Tina into the race two weeks before.  She isn't a runner nor had she ever been in a race before.  She had no idea what to expect so the expo was a new experience for her.  Of course, by then she was also getting really nervous about the whole thing.  :) 

After the expo we took in some New Orleans history with a walking tour of the city.  It was really interesting.  We learned that you should never look for the mouth of the Mississippi from the Gulf cause you will die; never marry a weak Frenchman because his dad will shoot you for your money; and you never want to go to a dinner party with strangers....cause you will die.  We also learned some real stuff too that was very interesting.  It was the first time we have taken a real tour in the city and something I would do again.

Jackson Square

Us and our tour stickers.

Sunday morning was race day.  As typical, it was cool at the start but really warmed up to be perfect.  Brian took off on his own and Tina and I started out jogging with the crowd.  I figured after that we would just walk the rest of it but Tina is a Rock Star and we ran/jogged a little over half of it and did 10 minutes better than we had planned!!  I think she was surprised at how relaxed it was.  I had fun (I think she did too).  I might even be able to talk her into another one of these one day. ;)

Coffee is a must at any start line!

And then Sunday afternoon, after we said our goodbyes to Roy and Tina, Brian and I took a walk up to Jackson Square to get some pictures together and visit "our tree."  :)

Our fountain picture

Beside "our tree"

On one of the trips to New Orleans before we got married there was an actual Pirate standing under this street sign.  We have a picture of us under the sign every visit after that just so we can laugh and remember how funny and strange that was :)

 Fun times were had by all!  We are looking forward to making the trip back next year! 

Grammie Camp....

On our way to New Orleans we stopped in Atlanta to drop Tucker off with Grammie Karen and Poppie.  Here are a few pictures from his fun week at Grammie Camp.  :)

Every airport trip involves a stop here for dinner

Burning some energy

Grammie Camp Playroom (also known as Brian's office come May)

Poppie!!!

Talking with Kohana :)

Tucker's cousins came to visit!

Lunch with Grammie Karen

Tubes day....

I think tube day was worse on me than Tucker.  I was nervous even though I knew everything would be fine.  When we got there Brian and I realized we had left the paperwork from Tucker's doctor at home so Tucker and I went in to get started and Brian turned around to head back home for the paperwork.  Thankfully, we were early so there was time since it was going to take about an hour for him to get there and back.  Whoops!! 

Tucker and I went in and man were they organized!  They have this down.  We first stopped at the sign in desk which only took a few minutes to finish up paperwork and settle all the payments.  From there to the waiting room.  There was a large fish tank.  I had time to show Tucker the Nemo fish just before they called us back.  Up the elevator we went to another waiting room.  We were in there for about 10 minutes...tops.  From there back to the nurses area where Tucker was given the most expensive stuff animal yet and the cute little gown to wear.

 Next we went to yet another waiting room but this was not your normal waiting room.  It was basically a playroom for the kids waiting for surgery and it was packed! Tucker wasn't sure what to do at first.  He stood clinging to my leg for a few minutes just watching the other kids.  Slowly he moved away and started to play.  It was funny to watch.  I think he was overwhelmed by the number of kids in the room.  Brian showed up about this time and we waiting for about another 15 minutes are so until he was the last of the "babies" and then they called Tucker and I back.

 

 

 

The playroom emptied out and he decided it was time to rest!

Tucker's gown and my scrubs before surgery

I went back with Tucker and stayed with him until he fell asleep and being the mom I, of course, cried walking out and back to the waiting room.  Brian and I waited for literally 5 minutes in a private waiting room until the doctor came in and told us everything went well and we would be called back to recovery soon.  We walked out to the waiting room and were called back within minutes.  When we walked in a nurse was holding Tucker and he was crying.  As soon as he saw me he just started saying "Mama Mama Mama" which of course would melt any mama's heart!  We stayed in recovery with him for 30 minutes and then were on our way home. 

We had a TV right in front of us that kept his attention!

We were there for about an two hours total.  It was like a factory line but they knew what they were doing. We came home and Tucker took a nap.  He was a little grouchy for the day but other than that you would have never known he had surgery that morning.  I didn't believe them when they told me it wasn't really a big deal and it would be over before we knew it but it wasn't and it was. :) I think as a parent you are always going to be nervous but hopefully this helps him and we won't see any (many) more ear infections!!